Over the last few years I have been VERY intentional about showing, and expressing my love to others. I chalk it up to a number of things, not having love reciprocated, losing a loved one and just plain old do unto others as you want others to do unto you. I cherish my relationships in all forms especially to those who are good to me. Depending on your perspective I’m either being a great friend, I am going above and beyond, or just being extra. Regardless of your view point, I entitled this piece “Don’t get caught slipping”, because often in life we all have to go through the hard lesson of you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.

If you are blessed enough to have good people in your life, regardless of the relationship, whether it’s sibling, a friendship, a significant other or a coworker why not take or create opportunities to express your love, or your appreciation of this person. What is it about loss, that makes us see value in others? The entire time they were in your face and you couldn’t muster up the words to say thank you, or I appreciate you. You see your ex happy elsewhere all of sudden you remember the good times and want them back? Why do we insist on bombarding funerals with flowers yet never gave a bouquet when that person could see, smell and touch them? So many questions and scenarios I could present.

Life has taught me that it boils down to ungratefulness, now don’t get me wrong, at times we are ungrateful and don’t realize it or we don’t genuinely mean to be that way. It just seems to happen, sometimes over time. We become so used to that individual merely being who they are we lose sight of the very thing that makes them unique, those key characteristics that formed the relationship we have with them. That’s why acts of kindness, love and appreciation seem so huge because it’s not done enough. I don’t know about you but the mere thought of no longer having the chance to edify, and express love to my loved ones makes me wanna love more.

I just felt really led to write about this topic today, so I pray it inspires you to continually walk in gratitude, continually express love and appreciation of those around you.

What does the bible say about ungratefulness? Well a few scriptures I found in my study include:

2 Timothy 3:2

Luke 17:17-18

What are your thoughts? Comment below.

You will find it difficult to work and focus on a vision if you don’t have peace or understanding about where it’s going, or you don’t know what role you’re suppose to play. You must first believe in anything you’re doing and second find your purpose in it.

This mindset should be and can be applied in all areas, but lets talk about relationships.

Recently I remembered a word that was given to me about an industry I would be working in, at that time I had no clue how that would happen but of course I received it, prayed about it and kept it moving. Few months after that I found myself in a relationship, not one that either one of us planned for but one that definitely is of God. He shared with me his vision, and what he believed to be his God given purpose. My gifts and areas of strength lined up with the areas he lacked but were needed to advance the vision. When I realized the role I was suppose to play in his vision it made things move effortlessly needless to say the vision progressed faster than we both could have imagined.

 

I believe a relationship is most destined for success when the two understand the purpose of them getting together is beyond feelings and emotion. What are you suppose to accomplish for the greater good together? Figure it out, work it, and build it, all other things will be added unto you.

As believers we understand the Lord knows the desires of our heart, we understand He also knows what we need, and we also understand He has placed purpose in us.

Correct? We all on the same page? Cool!

So why do we get into relationships and suddenly abandon purpose or better yet don’t find ways to connect our gifts/talents into our partner’s vision. Is it those butterflies of distraction? Is it fear? Is it doubt? Beats me, idk.

As women we are called to be a helpmate (Genesis 2:18) essentially fitting together in harmony. Seeing each other’s vision is great, understanding your role in the vision well that’s everything.

As couples in courtship we are encouraged to do so many things. Have accountability, seek counsel in all decisions, don’t cross boundaries, pray, pray and pray some more. What I’d like to see more of is encouraging couples in courtship to discuss individual purpose, and purpose as a couple.

I am learning daily. I am growing daily. Yet, daily I walk with Christ. It is not a cake walk point, blank, period. There are days I have to tell myself either I’m going to believe God or I am not. (When I am cognizant of it I always believe God, the devil will lie to you and he’ll use your own voice) I have to remind myself of the word, remind myself of things that have been confirmed for me. Emotions are something else, sometimes we can get so caught up in our feelings. Feelings are fleeting! How do I know this and still let them get me smh it’s madness sometimes. I am reminded in those times of the things I still deal with or things I tucked away and never truly dealt with. When you are truly loved and in love it brings out all of it in you. It brings out your best and it brings out your worst. I thank God for being wise enough to not trust my feelings and instead to pray, to rest, and trust God.

Actionable steps when your feelings start to get the best of you. I take myself through a series of questions, now this is what works for me I can’t say for everyone but my purpose is to impart knowledge on you all. It’s my heart’s desire you receive it and it helps you the way it helped me.

Why do you feel this way? Break it down for yourself. Whether it was something that was said or done get logical and get real about it.

Does it line up with the word? Whatever is making you feel some kind of way is it biblical in anyway.

Is this going to bother you in 5 min, in 5 days? Basically ask yourself is it really that serious. Emotions are fleeting and they change quick so you can be bothered by something that won’t matter in a day. It’s not worth it chalk it up and keep it moving don’t play into it.

My last one ☝🏾 my favorite. The end all be all the one that makes me say either your gonna believe God or your not. What did God speak to you about this person, situation, or place etc? As Christians we should be led by the Holy Spirit in all that we do right. But most importantly in relationships and connections. Meaning your significant other, your place of worship, where you live, where you work etc. You were led to all these people and places so because you were led God didn’t change his mind and forget to tell you and not lead you out lol. That’s where those feelings start to act up when you know God did this and now your feelings got you tripping. I remind myself not what was said or done on by that person or place but I remind myself why I was led to someone or somewhere and the confirmation that came along with it. Yeah sometimes it nice to remind yourself of what a person said or what they have done but some days, some moments it won’t be enough.

So I encourage you all to remind yourself what God said.

You are in that relationship cause God ordained it, you are in that place of employment cause He set it up, you are living where you are cause He allowed it, you are going through right now cause He allowed it.

So get out your feelings, rest and know that He is in control.

I give God glory for everything that I am and everything that I hold.

So when anyone gives me glory to say it makes me uncomfortable is an understatement. Society has trained us to believe we need certain things to arrive, that we must have  certain qualities in a relationship for it be worthy and desired.

We have allowed the world to dictate our blueprint to happiness.

I stand in awe of what 2017 has been to me, I stand amazed at the amount of restoration I walked in this year alone. The thought of my 2016 vs 2017 nearly drives me to tears. I have heard young women and kids look at the outside of my life and call it “goals” and to be honest most days I feel like i’m just doing the norm. I don’t even think much of my day to day. Yet, even with that I give God glory. This year alone I have seen those who live a life I could not imagine let alone probably survive. I have also seen CRAZY faith in action and what can come out of it. I’ve learned enough to know one’s experience is what drives them to seek something outside of what they have or are used to and I have also learned that one’s experiences are enough to cause them to remain stagnant and not grow, whether it is spiritual or other external factors.

Many see your outside blessings, yet they don’t see the growth, they don’t see the tests you’ve failed, the tests you’ve passed. They don’t know the number of days you wept and sacrificed. That is the part I admire in others, the struggle, to go through hell and come back, now that’s goals.

I don’t want anyone to look at me, and see me. I don’t want my relationship, my career, my personal endeavors, my attire, my car or home to ever make anyone think I’ve “arrived”. It is my heart’s desire and goal for others to always see me and say “she chose God” and it is because I chose Him everything else around  me is great. Friend you may not understand what your going through and why your going through, but I can promise you this. I can stand witness that eventually God will reveal why you went through everything.

All things work together for good to those who love God. Romans 8:28

Material things are nice do not get me wrong, but they are temporal, your spirit is eternal! At the end of the day the one thing we can count on is death, and what happens next is on you. Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. I’m the last one to be “super spiritual” or theological but facts is facts! Salvation is the one thing I don’t joke around with. I encourage you before the clock strikes 12 be certain where your soul’s resting place will be.

As the year closes out I pray it ends for you in a way you could not imagine, I pray it ends in a way where God makes Himself real to you. If I could show you all a tangible object of God’s love for you, His plans for you, His heart towards you, even then it would not be enough. So goodbye 2017 and hello to 2018 let’s strive for purpose, let’s strive for destiny, and lastly let’s strive that the God others see in us is #GOALS

Now that you’ve done that, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! #TURNUP