Change Me, Not Them

This short clip features Makenzie Thomas of Season 13 The Voice, singing a cover of Tamela Mann’s Change Me

I may have watched this clip over 20x times already besides the powerful and beautiful voice singing the lyrics it just does something to my spirit. It also is timely to my recent prayers over the last several months.

I have learned or better yet been reminded how sincere prayer is never going to reveal to you the nature of others but more so will reveal the true nature or true heart of yourself. Often we may go to the Lord and share our frustrations, hurts or worries about a situation or about a person. We then expect the Holy Spirit to guide us to understanding the why behind it. I say it in reference to the person, circumstance or whatever is bringing you to your knees.

I don’t know about you but every time the Lord shows me, ME! I’m not saying something or someone wasn’t wrong but He will show me where I have some un-dealt with hurts, insecurities, or how I could have handled things differently.

Do you ever wonder why certain things get to you more than others?

Do you ever wonder the true reason why certain words, or situations give you fear, anxiety or even anger?

You find yourself getting mad at your friend for cancelling plans with you, anxious when someone says they will call back and they don’t. You’re wondering do these individuals not care or do they have a problem with you. So being the prayerful Christians we are, we pray “oh Lord reveal to me why friend Susie Q is behaving the way that they are”, “oh Lord help me to understand why no one treats me the way I treat them.” ::tear tear::

What we don’t recognize is maybe we’re battling with rejection, or insecurities?? Don’t see it do you? Well I get it, I was once so focused on how everyone treated me, or behaved with me. Till my perspective was shifted, not only do I now have the courage to look at myself in the mirror and speak to those hidden things, further more it allows me to pray for others in a new way. Our friends, family, and others in our lives are going through life just like us, they deal with things they may or may not share and at times when we are so caught up in how they are behaving with us we don’t give a second thought to what they may have going on in their mind. This thought process alone has brought me to repent, and to forgive where I thought I was once the one owed an apology.

Tamela sings

“Change me oh God, make me more like you”

Do you know what a sincere prayer that is? Do you know what that entails? We worship because it sounds goods, and it feels good but do you ever consider the words you let leave your lips and say unto to the Lord?

I pray this sincerely God change me, never them. Give me the heart and the capacity to love even when I’m hurt. Give me the heart to turn the other cheek, even when i’m right. Give me the heart to say I forgive you,  or to accept an apology I may never receive. That’s deep right?! Yeah, I know I bet you can only imagine some of things you’ve been through, how could you possibly be more like Him?

You can start by praying with me, God change me, never them. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear so that I may build a heart that knows you. 💙




Truth is….

We all want financial freedom, we all say we want to make enough money to live life on our own terms, do what makes us happy and help our families. Many say they don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck forever. We all say we want more out of life.

But do you want to know what the TRUTH is?

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The TRUTH is many will never arrive to that point. Ooouu, was that harsh? Was I wrong to say that? See the thing about that statement is it’s not that many of these individuals don’t have skills, talents and ideas to get them there it’s the fear, the excuses, and the lack of discipline that will stop them.

Les Brown once said

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”

2019 I’ve finally brought something to life that I sat on for years.

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Ask me why I delayed and if I keep it real it was fear and distractions. I was doing a ton of things I had no business doing, these all took me away from my implementing core pieces connected to my purpose. Fear can paralyze you from moving, I ignored the fear because fear never stopped me before from doing anything else so it was easy to tuck this one thing away in a corner. My fear was intertwined with my pride, because I was fearful it would not go how I expected and my pride would not allow me to fall or fail so time, as time does, kept moving.

Today I want to encourage the dreamers, and the visionaries. You have a desire for a life that keeps you up at night, you have an idea that you have no clue where to start. It comes and goes, one minute your on fire, next minute you don’t even want to think about it. Start small, small wins matter. Ask for help, get with people who are skilled where you are not. My favorite suggestion, Google it! We are in a time where we have such an advantage, the internet has a wealth of information to point us in the right direction.

Ask yourself, what are you scared of? Ok. What if you do fail? Ok. But, what if you don’t?


When God gives you an assignment you can’t delay.

Delayed obedience is still disobedience.

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Stay Away…

Stay away from people who try to make you feel bad or try to make you worry for doing things as simple as being happy, seeking peace, joy or increasing your net-worth.

If you are not harming anyone, yourself or playing with your salvation there really is no need to say anything.

I’ve learned people will project their fears, negative experiences, and their insecurities on you and most times they don’t even know that they are behaving that way. I find this to be the most interesting thing ever, individuals highlight their fears and insecurities in everything they say and do, even the parts of them they are proud of. Sometimes I think i’m too smart, too analytical for my own good. You tell me all about yourself without ever saying a word directly to what you are projecting.



Giving advice one is not warranted to give, this is the funniest one yet most annoying one. How can someone tell you how to properly secure the bag and they have not done what you are doing. Familiar with all the statistics about the first year in business but they have never opened a business or been in your line of business.

LISTEN, God gave a vision to you not them, would you take someone’s opinion over God’s plan? I’ll wait! There will always be naysayers, non believers and skeptics.



EVERYONE has an opinion!!! What can I say? Yes, accountability/counsel is a major key, but what I’ve learned is to seek PROPER accountability/counsel. I say proper meaning those who live the same values as, you, those who have fruit of a good relationship. You cannot allow everyone the right to speak into your life let alone your relationship.

THINK, when seeking accountability/counsel would you want counsel or accountability from a woman who is constantly bickering with her spouse/partner or continuously complaining. The word says “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.”-Proverbs 25:24 You can tell a tree by the fruit it bares. You should seek accountability from a good tree. I did not say a perfect tree, I said a good tree. What does that look like? It looks like the individual who understands forgiveness, who understands submission, who brings her husband good and not harm. If you desire to be a wife that individual should be where you’re trying to go. I could go on and on about appropriate accountability and counsel. What I want you to take away is that when you have entered into a relationship particularly one that has been confirmed is the right one, the enemy will use even those close to you, to throw you off your path. So seek accountability and counsel accordingly but be diligent in your selection.

Check yourself and start checking those who subject you to this and uhhhhhh lets not for the rest of 2018 K?


Don’t get caught slipping…

Don’t get caught slipping…

Over the last few years I have been VERY intentional about showing, and expressing my love to others. I chalk it up to a number of things, not having love reciprocated, losing a loved one and just plain old do unto others as you want others to do unto you. I cherish my relationships in all forms especially to those who are good to me. Depending on your perspective I’m either being a great friend, I am going above and beyond, or just being extra. Regardless of your view point, I entitled this piece “Don’t get caught slipping”, because often in life we all have to go through the hard lesson of you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.

If you are blessed enough to have good people in your life, regardless of the relationship, whether it’s sibling, a friendship, a significant other or a coworker why not take or create opportunities to express your love, or your appreciation of this person. What is it about loss, that makes us see value in others? The entire time they were in your face and you couldn’t muster up the words to say thank you, or I appreciate you. You see your ex happy elsewhere all of sudden you remember the good times and want them back? Why do we insist on bombarding funerals with flowers yet never gave a bouquet when that person could see, smell and touch them? So many questions and scenarios I could present.

Life has taught me that it boils down to ungratefulness, now don’t get me wrong, at times we are ungrateful and don’t realize it or we don’t genuinely mean to be that way. It just seems to happen, sometimes over time. We become so used to that individual merely being who they are we lose sight of the very thing that makes them unique, those key characteristics that formed the relationship we have with them. That’s why acts of kindness, love and appreciation seem so huge because it’s not done enough. I don’t know about you but the mere thought of no longer having the chance to edify, and express love to my loved ones makes me wanna love more.

I just felt really led to write about this topic today, so I pray it inspires you to continually walk in gratitude, continually express love and appreciation of those around you.

What does the bible say about ungratefulness? Well a few scriptures I found in my study include:

2 Timothy 3:2

Luke 17:17-18

What are your thoughts? Comment below.

The TRUTH is…..

The enemy is not angry about what’s happening in your life, HE’S SCARED.

Scared you’ll reach your full potential.

Scared you’ll fulfill your purpose.

Scared you’ll reach your destiny.

And most of all, scared God will be glorified.


Be great today, and let’s keep our foot on the enemy’s neck!! Focus on what you’ve been called to do. Stay encouraged!



Do you believe God or not?!

Do you believe God or not?!

I am learning daily. I am growing daily. Yet, daily I walk with Christ. It is not a cake walk point, blank, period. There are days I have to tell myself either I’m going to believe God or I am not. (When I am cognizant of it I always believe God, the devil will lie to you and he’ll use your own voice) I have to remind myself of the word, remind myself of things that have been confirmed for me. Emotions are something else, sometimes we can get so caught up in our feelings. Feelings are fleeting! How do I know this and still let them get me smh it’s madness sometimes. I am reminded in those times of the things I still deal with or things I tucked away and never truly dealt with. When you are truly loved and in love it brings out all of it in you. It brings out your best and it brings out your worst. I thank God for being wise enough to not trust my feelings and instead to pray, to rest, and trust God.

Actionable steps when your feelings start to get the best of you. I take myself through a series of questions, now this is what works for me I can’t say for everyone but my purpose is to impart knowledge on you all. It’s my heart’s desire you receive it and it helps you the way it helped me.

Why do you feel this way? Break it down for yourself. Whether it was something that was said or done get logical and get real about it.

Does it line up with the word? Whatever is making you feel some kind of way is it biblical in anyway.

Is this going to bother you in 5 min, in 5 days? Basically ask yourself is it really that serious. Emotions are fleeting and they change quick so you can be bothered by something that won’t matter in a day. It’s not worth it chalk it up and keep it moving don’t play into it.

My last one ☝🏾 my favorite. The end all be all the one that makes me say either your gonna believe God or your not. What did God speak to you about this person, situation, or place etc? As Christians we should be led by the Holy Spirit in all that we do right. But most importantly in relationships and connections. Meaning your significant other, your place of worship, where you live, where you work etc. You were led to all these people and places so because you were led God didn’t change his mind and forget to tell you and not lead you out lol. That’s where those feelings start to act up when you know God did this and now your feelings got you tripping. I remind myself not what was said or done on by that person or place but I remind myself why I was led to someone or somewhere and the confirmation that came along with it. Yeah sometimes it nice to remind yourself of what a person said or what they have done but some days, some moments it won’t be enough.

So I encourage you all to remind yourself what God said.

You are in that relationship cause God ordained it, you are in that place of employment cause He set it up, you are living where you are cause He allowed it, you are going through right now cause He allowed it.

So get out your feelings, rest and know that He is in control.