You will find it difficult to work and focus on a vision if you don’t have peace or understanding about where it’s going, or you don’t know what role you’re suppose to play. You must first believe in anything you’re doing and second find your purpose in it.

This mindset should be and can be applied in all areas, but lets talk about relationships.

Recently I remembered a word that was given to me about an industry I would be working in, at that time I had no clue how that would happen but of course I received it, prayed about it and kept it moving. Few months after that I found myself in a relationship, not one that either one of us planned for but one that definitely is of God. He shared with me his vision, and what he believed to be his God given purpose. My gifts and areas of strength lined up with the areas he lacked but were needed to advance the vision. When I realized the role I was suppose to play in his vision it made things move effortlessly needless to say the vision progressed faster than we both could have imagined.

 

I believe a relationship is most destined for success when the two understand the purpose of them getting together is beyond feelings and emotion. What are you suppose to accomplish for the greater good together? Figure it out, work it, and build it, all other things will be added unto you.

As believers we understand the Lord knows the desires of our heart, we understand He also knows what we need, and we also understand He has placed purpose in us.

Correct? We all on the same page? Cool!

So why do we get into relationships and suddenly abandon purpose or better yet don’t find ways to connect our gifts/talents into our partner’s vision. Is it those butterflies of distraction? Is it fear? Is it doubt? Beats me, idk.

As women we are called to be a helpmate (Genesis 2:18) essentially fitting together in harmony. Seeing each other’s vision is great, understanding your role in the vision well that’s everything.

As couples in courtship we are encouraged to do so many things. Have accountability, seek counsel in all decisions, don’t cross boundaries, pray, pray and pray some more. What I’d like to see more of is encouraging couples in courtship to discuss individual purpose, and purpose as a couple.

I know, I know they always tell us to be a man’s peace, but sis you need peace too!! If his presence, and/or his touch doesn’t do the same cut that ninja off.

#BOYBYE

As women (especially women in Christ) we are always being told what we should do, who we should be, to prepare for a husband.

Don’t get me wrong I agree with it all for the most part. Be submissive, be able to commit, bring something to table that helps his purpose (**cough**HELPMEET**cough**), be someone who can be led and know when to lead, be someone who knows when to shut up, and most important of all understand your purpose in your single season and already be chasing your calling and destiny.

**To go a step further it is my belief you are a wife way before you get a ring and a man. You are a wife right where you are in life, you are submissive, caring, a help meet etc. When you are married it simply shows a man has recognized the wife in you and simply made you HIS wife. You don’t suddenly walk down the aisle and have to change the foundation of who you already are, I do not believe it works this way, but I digress.**

What I do not agree with is what happens when you “have arrived”. I quote that because none of us will ever arrive, but none the less for purposes of making my point your a single woman, you love the Lord, and you out here getting it!!!

What I do not agree with is how society holds marriage over the head of young women as if something is wrong if you are unmarried. What I do not agree with is how some churches dangle marriage like a carrot in front of young women that only if they do XYZ and are perfect then the Lord will bless them with a husband. What I do not agree with are all these things that are said that somehow blame women for being unmarried when the word of God tells us HE who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. That tells me HE should be looking for me, and HE technically should be prepping to find his good thing. That further tells me HE obtains favor cause WE are the prize, we are far above rubies! So, why is the pressure so hard on women, unun i’m not buying it!

Now someone comes around showing interest and suddenly it’s all about ensuring he recognizes the jewel that you are, which is great…….BUT…….what about him? Where are all the conferences, bible studies, inspirational quotes and memes telling you what to look for and how to handle said guy??                                                                                                    (To answer this question refer to Ephesians 5)

Sis, you deserve everything you are, and then some. As much as you bring to the table spiritually, mentally, all the llys!! As women we multiply everything given to us. I love the quote by William Golding:

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, from one single, out here getting it sister to another:

YOU DESERVE PEACE TOO!

You deserve for his presence to make your life easier as well. You deserve that when he is with you, your burdens are lighter because he eases them. You deserve for him to encourage your gift and bring out the best in you. You deserve this as much as he deserves it. Now do not twist my words I am not saying when the brother comes around he need to pay bills #heckno I am saying in the stage of building a relationship you shouldn’t have to fight so hard to prove who and what you are. A man of God will recognize your greatness and what you bring to the table. All you have to do is pursue greatness, and purpose, trust that God will do the rest. Sit, observe. pray. Stop letting society back you into to a corner and make you feel less than! You a fearfully and wonderfully made. NOTHING LESS!!

I pray this brings some peace and reassurance to your life today!!

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Stay tuned tomorrow for my piece entitled:

“You Deserve Peace Too!!”

If your “friends” can’t speak life into you, RUN, if your “friends” only talk about their lives and they don’t have the discernment to see past your “i’m good” again let them go. We are too grown to hold onto empty friendships. I have noticed and held onto friendships that I like to call one-sided. Time has taught me this is not friendship.

What is friendship?

Friendship is honesty, as I like to say keeping it real. You know what I can stand? Going through a sucky situation and when I come out alive on the other end someone who is suppose to be a friend hits me with a “I knew that wasn’t a good idea”. WELLLLL, why didn’t you say anything!!??

Brethren, if any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness. (Galatians 6:1)

Friendship is intentional, have you ever had a moment where you needed to vent or share and your “friend” was more focused on their phone or overall just not present with you. Friends should listen to you and listen to understand not listen to reply. Their presence should be intentional. A friend who is present makes one feel cared about and that what I’m saying matters to you.

 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9)

Friendship is rejoicing, pay attention to how stale a conversation becomes when you express an accomplishment to foe friend. Your accomplishments are your friend’s accomplishments cause their love and support should be apart of your successes. Jealously? Don’t nobody got time for that.

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic.” (James 3:14-15)

Friendship is growth, when there is no movement in something it is dead. That even means in your friendships. Where are you both progressing too? Or is there is only one of you moving? Can’t have squad goals if you are all just entertaining each other but not lifting each other to progress somewhere in their lives. This can mean spiritual, physical, or financial but friendship has it perks and if growth is not one of them #issaproblem.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

My prayer is that you understand the depth and purpose of friendship and you do not walk into 2018 with meaningless connections. Your squad is your tribe, find them and love them.

#SQUAD

I’ll be starting a series of writing pieces all entitled “#Walk With Me”.

Different pieces of writing that really put you in my shoes during what I deem critical moments in my life, and my walk with Christ. In my attempt at being more transparent I present #WalkWithMe.

Your probably saying but Daphne you have a blog, but Daphne we talk all the time, or Daph you have your podcast aren’t you open enough?

Yeah issa no, I say that because my blog posts thus far are well thought out pieces where I share with you a little of what I’ve been through on whatever is the topic and the takeaway I want you to grasp from my experiences. My blog is really just practice while i’m writing my first book called Queen Initiatives, you’ll find similar writing there as you do my previous blog posts.

#WalkWithMe is wide open.

As a young woman, a young black, single, saved, corporate America working woman IT’S SOOO REAL out here. Come along and learn how I’m navigating it all. My prayer is that you find relate-ability and some understanding that we are all pencils in the hand of God, but His desire is for us all to have the same dope endings.