The Lord is really laying on my heart to talk to the woman who is battling with heartbreak, battling with the fact that a man you loved, a man you gave your heart too
STEPPED ALL OVER IT!!!
Let us talk about it shall we and let me start by reminding you, your worth is NOT in a man sis! I promise, I promise you are still beautiful and amazing with or without one. Your relationship status DOES NOT define you. When your were formed in your mother’s womb God gave you a purpose alone he did not give you a purpose that could only be fulfilled when you have a man.
So let’s get that out the way and make that clear, you have a purpose in Christ that you have been tasked to fulfill ALONE not you and a +1. Proverbs 19:21
Now what I’ve learned and what I’m seeing around me is heartbreak is HARD okay, I get it. With knowing that, no one should downplay your feelings with “it’s gonna be okay” “you’ll find someone better” “just get over it” and all the many things people tend to tell you when you’ve gone through a heart break. Now let me say they are telling you the truth don’t dismiss that BUT it’s not what the issue is I know, I’ve been there those are not the things you really care to hear fresh in the heartache.
But can I tell you something that I know got me through heartbreak (twice might I add)?
IT WAS NOT ABOUT YOU! IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!
So dry your tears for a second and hear me out. Stop re-reading the text messages, stop analyzing the past conversations word for word, trying to read between the lines of that emoji he sent you a month and a half ago, lol. STOP! Stop looking for an answer to “What did I say?, what could I have said?, what could I have done different?” You know you were a good woman right? You encouraged him, you were kind, caring, available, you gave your best physically, emotionally, financially and mentally right? Yes, you did and that is why it hurts so freaking much! I get it! Cause if you knew you were a wack or an OK GF and you weren’t really all in anyway you wouldn’t be crying your heart out right now into your pillow wondering over and over why!?
He has issues that have to be worked out of him, when a man is not content, when he is not fully healed of his own issues and matured he is going to hurt every woman he deals with in one way or another. I could tell you what I’ve been through what so and so did to me and we can debate about who got hurt more or less chileeeee, but what does it really matter heartbreak is heartbreak we all experience the emotions and did the things I referenced above.
But when you come to an understanding that *insert heart breaker’s name here* was not complete in Christ, he had mommy and/or daddy issues, he had mental health issues, he once battled with alcoholism and depression, he had insecurities. You will then understand wow I need to pray for him, he needs help. Because he still needs help he is hurting every woman he deals with. Now I say he “had” all those issues in past tense because of course when you first starting to get to know each he made you believe he overcame those issues right?? Well wrong he didn’t, and because he didn’t you became another victim. Sucks right?? Yeah I know.
But an understanding of this causes a shift, it shifts the victim role to no it was never about you, it’s about him. I promise you and please hold me too it, if you think of the issues you and heart breaker had even if they only presented themselves once or twice I guarantee you will have a revelation like yeah wow he did show signs of insecurities, or he did have abandonment, or past issues. When you realize that just do one thing for me, pray for him, pray that God brings him healing in that area and forgive him sis, forgive him not for him but for you. When you release that control he has over you, when you desire healing for him only then sis have you begun the healing process, then you have released the anger, the bitterness and insecurities that began to take root.
I know your going to get through this, I know your gonna come back GLO’D up and that is what it’s all about your learning more and more as you get older. Going forward in dating first pray for discernment, you’ll start to pick up clues if a man is ready or not, abstain from sex, it will make things easier and no exchange of soul ties which makes the healing process more difficult if things don’t go right, take your time don’t rush, real love is a lifetime sis take your time, and last pray to God and tell him you want what he has for you and prepare yourself for when he’s ready to present it too you. I love you and I’m here!!