“Find yourself, find God then come find me.”

I love this quote but you know the amusing, interesting part to that is young women are asking for something they have yet to do. How often have we heard the criteria we should search for in a man? He has to be God fearing, good job, his own everything etc. BUT what amuses me about these type of statements is they often come from women who cannot say the same about themselves.

I was young and inexperienced in relationships and I would say things along these lines but I realized after sometime WAIT A MINUTE how can I want man that is “God fearing” but I was living worldly and operating in routines of religion? What I really was saying is I want a man that goes to church but still in the world. NO NO! How can I say I want a man that has a great career, and I was unhappy in my career. NO NO! How could I want a man that drove a nice car but I had a car that my daddy paid for me and I didn’t even like it. LOL! #howswayhow

How dumb is that right??! I look back and recognize how young and foolish that kind of talk was that I can laugh it now because I know better and do better.

I share this dumb part of my life as an example.
What I am saying is that women are not satisfied in their single season. You attract what you are. In your single season that is your time to reevaluate where you are in life and where you want to be. You can’t say I want to have a relationship and be broke can’t keep yourself up and always expect him to cover everything, you can’t say I want a boo and jumping from job to job that shows lack of stability. You can’t say i’m tired of being single and you struggling to finish your degree, that reflects lack of focus. You can’t say I want a boyfriend so i’m not lonely that says you are insecure and you have yet to tap into self-love. A man is just a man girl i’m trying to tell you, yes God does not call for us to be alone but to have a help mate, but He also says that a MAN that FINDS a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. THE MAN MUST FIND YOU!

Real talk ask yourself….are you a good thing? And I mean like really are you a good thing? LOL…Be real with yourself, if you had to date someone like you would you be like YASSSSS!?? LOL! Or do you still have some areas that need to be worked on?! No one is perfect, yes I know but when I say good thing ya’ll know I don’t mean perfection.

Years ago had I asked myself this honestly I’d have to say no, NOW yes I know i’m a good thing. I’m confident and satisfied in all aspects of my life, I am what I seek in a guy.

I never mean to bash anyone going through these type of feelings are who have been there I simply share what i’ve been through and what i’ve seen and heard most importantly what i’ve learned.

It’s time to be satisfied in your single season and focus on self growth. Focus on self advancement. When your time comes to be in relationship you now have earned the RIGHT to make sure he comes correct and when you got yourself together he has no choice but to respect it. Bruh man from the 5th floor can’t come to you with no weak game or use material things to impress you cause after all your self-growth and self-improvement you will realize how meaningless it all is, trust me when you have gone through the process to make yourself the best you can be you will not accept any less and anything less will second guess how to come at you.

I’m telling you what I know!

Anything I require and/or prefer in man, I require of myself.

#daphnespeaks #thinkaboutit

Nothing more dangerous than a beautiful woman who is focused and unimpressed.

not easy highstandards thecurve


Clap for yourself…

If you know me, you know me i’ll start with that.

Today a coworker told me that I was “too into myself”, a bit self absorbed, and boastful. Hmmm how did this conversation start, my joggers are fitting much looser than they used too so they were pulled up to my calves rather than my ankles this is attributed to recent weightloss. Like me actually eating more (I’m used to eating one meal a day which actually causes you to gain rather than lose lol), working out consistently etc. I said well yeah this is definitley not fitting the same i’ve lost weight but this is great cause i’m gonna look great running around in Jamaica in my two-piece. As we began walking I saw a reflective window and said wow I really do look smaller, this is awesome I look good!! The comments mentioned earlier are what followed after that moment and throughout the conversation.

I stopped walking and said what?! Too into myself cause I’m making positive comments about noticing all the changes that I have been working towards!?

I say all this to say that not everyone will be your biggest fan not even those who have seen you from your beginning, middle and end etc. Not everyone is gonna clap for you when your name is called. Not everyone is gonna understand your praise, but sometimes tell you, your doing too much.

Had I allowed my validation to come from others this would have upset me and shut me up and agree yeah maybe I shouldnt say that.

But darn all that cheer yourself on! Clap for yourself! Treat yo self! I love me and I know I bust my butt in everything I do so am I gonna acknowledge the fruit of my labor? Heck yeah!

I say this cause as young women, men can be our biggest downfall if you don’t have your head on right. Years ago I let a man massacre my self-esteem for years on end cause I counted on my validation, my worth from him. Then I grew up and learned it starts with me and a man that is not my husband or courting me opinion is irrelevant. I know the type of self esteem I used to have compared to where it is now. Compliments are nice and all that, but it is what it is. Negative or positive opinions should be noted but don’t allow them to take root. That’s why I am so unimpressed by words lol you better show me something cause i’ve heard every compliment in the book! But anyway back to the topic ladies love yourself, be confident in your hard-work in any avenue of your life from your accomplishments in fitness, work, and education.
#daphnespeaks 10/16/15


His Grace….

Original Post 12/30/2014HisGrace

“His Grace never ceases to amaze me. All my tests became my testimonies. I don’t know how many times I’m gonna say this but I continue to praise him and glorify him on my worst days and my best days, there’s no secret to my strengths, smiles and accomplishments. 2014 has been an amazing year I’m so grateful to everything this year has brought me lessons and blessings.‪#‎blessed‬ ‪#‎grace‬ ‪#‎butGod‬

I Value…


“I value experiences, travel, life lessons, meaningful relationships, my independence, not material possessions. All the nice things I have or don’t have do nothing for me, it’s all really futile. Everything that truly brings peace and joy in my life I couldn’t even show you or put on display. ‪#‎thinkaboutit‬

Anyhow Praise!

Original Post: 05/20/15AnyhowPraise

“When God puts you in a position you never thought you’d be in praise him anyway. Show him your “anyhow praise” so that when he fulfills your heart’s desires He knows you will still praise and glorify His name. Often when we are down and out on our luck, things are not going as we’d hope, and your stressing etc were praying and crying out to Him for help and the moment He gets us back on our feet we have the great job, we’ve recovered from sickness etc we forget Him. As strong as I appear to be it’s only because I’ve learned to have a anyhow praise I don’t ever stay down long regardless of the circumstances my praise is the same when i’m up and when i’m down thank God for his GRACE i’m always good. ”