I AM NOT….YOU ARE NOT #GOALS

I AM NOT….YOU ARE NOT #GOALS

I give God glory for everything that I am and everything that I hold.

So when anyone gives me glory to say it makes me uncomfortable is an understatement. Society has trained us to believe we need certain things to arrive, that we must have  certain qualities in a relationship for it be worthy and desired.

We have allowed the world to dictate our blueprint to happiness.

I stand in awe of what 2017 has been to me, I stand amazed at the amount of restoration I walked in this year alone. The thought of my 2016 vs 2017 nearly drives me to tears. I have heard young women and kids look at the outside of my life and call it “goals” and to be honest most days I feel like i’m just doing the norm. I don’t even think much of my day to day. Yet, even with that I give God glory. This year alone I have seen those who live a life I could not imagine let alone probably survive. I have also seen CRAZY faith in action and what can come out of it. I’ve learned enough to know one’s experience is what drives them to seek something outside of what they have or are used to and I have also learned that one’s experiences are enough to cause them to remain stagnant and not grow, whether it is spiritual or other external factors.

Many see your outside blessings, yet they don’t see the growth, they don’t see the tests you’ve failed, the tests you’ve passed. They don’t know the number of days you wept and sacrificed. That is the part I admire in others, the struggle, to go through hell and come back, now that’s goals.

I don’t want anyone to look at me, and see me. I don’t want my relationship, my career, my personal endeavors, my attire, my car or home to ever make anyone think I’ve “arrived”. It is my heart’s desire and goal for others to always see me and say “she chose God” and it is because I chose Him everything else around  me is great. Friend you may not understand what your going through and why your going through, but I can promise you this. I can stand witness that eventually God will reveal why you went through everything.

All things work together for good to those who love God. Romans 8:28

Material things are nice do not get me wrong, but they are temporal, your spirit is eternal! At the end of the day the one thing we can count on is death, and what happens next is on you. Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. I’m the last one to be “super spiritual” or theological but facts is facts! Salvation is the one thing I don’t joke around with. I encourage you before the clock strikes 12 be certain where your soul’s resting place will be.

As the year closes out I pray it ends for you in a way you could not imagine, I pray it ends in a way where God makes Himself real to you. If I could show you all a tangible object of God’s love for you, His plans for you, His heart towards you, even then it would not be enough. So goodbye 2017 and hello to 2018 let’s strive for purpose, let’s strive for destiny, and lastly let’s strive that the God others see in us is #GOALS

Now that you’ve done that, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! #TURNUP

 

 

 

 

 

You Deserve Peace Too!!!

I know, I know they always tell us to be a man’s peace, but sis you need peace too!! If his presence, and/or his touch doesn’t do the same cut that ninja off.

#BOYBYE

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As women (especially women in Christ) we are always being told what we should do, who we should be, to prepare for a husband.

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Don’t get me wrong I agree with it all for the most part. Be submissive, be able to commit, bring something to table that helps his purpose (**cough**HELPMEET**cough**), be someone who can be led and know when to lead, be someone who knows when to shut up, and most important of all understand your purpose in your single season and already be chasing your calling and destiny.

**To go a step further it is my belief you are a wife way before you get a ring and a man. You are a wife right where you are in life, you are submissive, caring, a help meet etc. When you are married it simply shows a man has recognized the wife in you and simply made you HIS wife. You don’t suddenly walk down the aisle and have to change the foundation of who you already are, I do not believe it works this way, but I digress.**

What I do not agree with is what happens when you “have arrived”. I quote that because none of us will ever arrive, but none the less for purposes of making my point your a single woman, you love the Lord, and you out here getting it!!!

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What I do not agree with is how society holds marriage over the head of young women as if something is wrong if you are unmarried. What I do not agree with is how some churches dangle marriage like a carrot in front of young women that only if they do XYZ and are perfect then the Lord will bless them with a husband. What I do not agree with are all these things that are said that somehow blame women for being unmarried when the word of God tells us HE who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. That tells me HE should be looking for me, and HE technically should be prepping to find his good thing. That further tells me HE obtains favor cause WE are the prize, we are far above rubies! So, why is the pressure so hard on women, unun i’m not buying it!

Now someone comes around showing interest and suddenly it’s all about ensuring he recognizes the jewel that you are, which is great…….BUT…….what about him? Where are all the conferences, bible studies, inspirational quotes and memes telling you what to look for and how to handle said guy??                                                                                                    (To answer this question refer to Ephesians 5)

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Sis, you deserve everything you are, and then some. As much as you bring to the table spiritually, mentally, all the llys!! As women we multiply everything given to us. I love the quote by William Golding:

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, from one single, out here getting it sister to another:

YOU DESERVE PEACE TOO!

You deserve for his presence to make your life easier as well. You deserve that when he is with you, your burdens are lighter because he eases them. You deserve for him to encourage your gift and bring out the best in you. You deserve this as much as he deserves it. Now do not twist my words I am not saying when the brother comes around he need to pay bills #heckno I am saying in the stage of building a relationship you shouldn’t have to fight so hard to prove who and what you are. A man of God will recognize your greatness and what you bring to the table. All you have to do is pursue greatness, and purpose, trust that God will do the rest. Sit, observe. pray. Stop letting society back you into to a corner and make you feel less than! You a fearfully and wonderfully made. NOTHING LESS!!

I pray this brings some peace and reassurance to your life today!!

Friends?! How many of us have them?

If your “friends” can’t speak life into you, RUN, if your “friends” only talk about their lives and they don’t have the discernment to see past your “i’m good” again let them go. We are too grown to hold onto empty friendships. I have noticed and held onto friendships that I like to call one-sided. Time has taught me this is not friendship.

What is friendship?

Friendship is honesty, as I like to say keeping it real. You know what I can stand? Going through a sucky situation and when I come out alive on the other end someone who is suppose to be a friend hits me with a “I knew that wasn’t a good idea”. WELLLLL, why didn’t you say anything!!??

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Brethren, if any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness. (Galatians 6:1)

Friendship is intentional, have you ever had a moment where you needed to vent or share and your “friend” was more focused on their phone or overall just not present with you. Friends should listen to you and listen to understand not listen to reply. Their presence should be intentional. A friend who is present makes one feel cared about and that what I’m saying matters to you.

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 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9)

Friendship is rejoicing, pay attention to how stale a conversation becomes when you express an accomplishment to foe friend. Your accomplishments are your friend’s accomplishments cause their love and support should be apart of your successes. Jealously? Don’t nobody got time for that.

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“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic.” (James 3:14-15)

Friendship is growth, when there is no movement in something it is dead. That even means in your friendships. Where are you both progressing too? Or is there is only one of you moving? Can’t have squad goals if you are all just entertaining each other but not lifting each other to progress somewhere in their lives. This can mean spiritual, physical, or financial but friendship has it perks and if growth is not one of them #issaproblem.

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“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

My prayer is that you understand the depth and purpose of friendship and you do not walk into 2018 with meaningless connections. Your squad is your tribe, find them and love them.

#SQUAD

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